


Ada, Tesla and Turing

by TheGoodDoctor



Series: Squad Goals [4]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), SPECTRE (2015)
Genre: Although not much, Canon-Typical Violence, Cats, M/M, Post-SPECTRE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 19:43:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5218388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoodDoctor/pseuds/TheGoodDoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which there are cats, bets and gifts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ada, Tesla and Turing

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [Ada, Tesla and Turing 三貓成行](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5235788) by [Konalia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Konalia/pseuds/Konalia)



> Slight canon-divergence, although the fandom appears to have decided that Bond comes back. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

“You owe me,” Eve says good-naturedly as she enters Q-branch, Tanner at her heels. Both are grinning far too widely for Q’s liking. He sighs.

“For?” Eve says nothing until Q minimises his code and faces them fully. “Come on, you're clearly dying to tell me the ways in which you're better than us mere mortals.”

Eve rolls her eyes. “No need to snap.” She pauses for dramatic effect. “Bond has returned.”

Q’s mouth goes dry. “Really,” he manages. “Jolly good.” Internally Q's panicking. It's not every day that the crush you'd given up hope on returns triumphant.

“He'll be back as 007, of course, with the program reinstated and all,” Bill says amicably. “Q-branch certainly has not seen the last of him.” He shifts the papers in his arms. “I'm really here to give you this to sign; Eve's here for the ride.”

“Thanks, Bill,” Q sighs, accepting the sheaf. “How many trees must we kill in the name of health and safety?”

“Get used to it,” Eve says, altogether too happy. “Bond is back, after all.” She follows Bill out of the branch, calling over her shoulder, “Don't forget my money!”

Q resists the urge to slam his head against his desk until he no longer has to deal with Eve or Bond ever again ever.

* * *

 “Stop.”

Bond obeys.

Q taps a few more keys. “You may proceed.”

“Your Majesty,” Bond says dryly as he approaches the desk.

“007,” Q says in surprise, looking up. “You're back.”

“I was reliably informed that you were aware. Or perhaps you've eschewed human contact in favour of your cats,” Bond says pleasantly.

“My cats do not break the highly-expensive toys I make for them, nor do they take extended leaves and then swan back in months later with, doubtless, great expectations of what I will do for them,” Q responds immediately.

“Well, now it seems endlessly practical. Besides, I come bearing gifts to cheer you.” Bond produces from behind his back a large grey box, which Q quickly recognises.

“I fail to see how a cat carrier - oh.” Q stops, for Bond has opened the door and a large, white, long-haired cat has emerged, blinking in the strip lighting of Q-branch. “Where-?”

“Blofeld,” Bond says simply. “Couldn't leave it to die.”

“It?” Q snaps, reaching a hand out tentatively.

“I was preoccupied with the impending explosion.”

“Hmm,” Q says. He fights to keep his expression neutral, but when the cat headbutts his hand and begins to purr he beams. Bond feels as if the sun has just come out.

“It's probably hungry. The safe house didn't have lots of cat food.”

Q allows the cat to settle in his lap. “Thank you, 007.” He looks up, smiling. “Give Eve this, won't you?”

“Your wish is my command,” Bond says, pocketing the note Q hands him and leaving with a slight bow.

As soon as he leaves Q-branch falls to whispering until Q says, loudly, “That's enough, children. There is work to be done.”

“Says the man cuddling a supervillain’s cat,” R giggles, smoothing the edge of her hijab as she places his mug on the edge of his desk. “We've adjusted the betting pool appropriately; stroking a white cat means the odds of you becoming the next supervillain are now three to one.”

* * *

 From: M

To: Tanner

Subject: Concerns

Q has a white cat from Bond. Has taken to stroking it while working. Betting pool has been adjusted. M-branch employees becoming increasingly reluctant to go to Q-branch.

* * *

 From: Tanner

To: M

Subject: But sir I'm so close to winning a bet against Moneypenny on this

Sir,

Will consult the minions. Not sure how much we can do, since removing the cat may be the proverbial straw. Reasonably sure that the previous owner will not rub off on him, but we'll do what we can.

* * *

 From: M

To: Tanner

Subject: You don't understand I have allergies

Can't he just keep it at home?

* * *

 “Q.”

“Bond.” Q spins in his chair dramatically to face the agent. “No, Ada, get down.”

James turns to spy the cat leap down from a cabinet and land on his shoulders. “Ada?” he says evenly.

“Lovelace. First computer programmer and hero to us all.” Ada curls up around Bond’s neck like some bizarre scarf and mews softly. “She must like you.”

“I rescued her. She's contractually obliged to like me.”

“Rather unlike the usual Bond girl, I must admit.” Q smiles softly at the sight of the killer agent with a fluffy tail flicking across his face, the cat purring loudly as James strokes the hollow behind Ada’s ears. “I'd imagined that you'd stay with Doctor Swann rather than the cat.”

Bond's face becomes blank. “We all have expectations. Q.”

With that, Bond turns upon his heel, swiftly removing the cat and stalking out of the door. He pushes past a rather stunned Tanner and disappears. Bill offers a smile that feels a little sympathetic and strides forward, crouching down to proffer a hand to Ada. The cat sniffs him curiously. “Yes, I smell like labrador, don't I?” Q grins. Bill looks up at him. “I come bearing bad news, I'm afraid. Little Ada can't stay in MI6, but you can keep her. She's yours now.”

R pouts. “Aww, baby.” Tanner looks at her in surprise and the serious hacker returns to the screen, blushing and pretending that she wasn't listening.

Tanner and Q grin at each other in a rare moment of levity. Q sighs. “Fine. Say bye to the nice hackers and then you can meet Turing and Tesla.”

* * *

Q is watching Tesla and Ada bounce around the kitchen while Turing sleeps beside him when there is a knock on the door. None of his security protocols have been triggered, so it must be a known MI6 high-level employee. He peeps through the whole in the door, then turns to press his back against it.

Bond.

Q breathes heavily. Control the crush, Q. You're bigger than this. Q has sudden visions of James, leaning against the doorframe with a cheesy pickup line on his lips like some 70’s porn star, here to tell Q just how much-

Q stops that thought. He breathes in, opens the door and says, levelly, “007.”

“Quartermaster.” James grins at the more-than-usually dishevelled programmer, hair a riot of curls and cardigan in danger of slipping from his bony shoulders entirely. He resists the urge to tug the wool further around his thin form and pull Q close to him. “I wanted to see how Ada was settling in to her new home.”

Q steps back and heads towards his kitchen in silent invitation to enter. He switches on the kettle, turning in time to spot James’ fine rear shown off to its best as he crouches to stroke the cats. Q clears his throat. “Watch for Tesla, he can be vicious. Tea or coffee?”

“Coffee,” Bond rumbles as Turing pushes her head under the agent's hand and Ada jumps on his head.

“You get used to that as a wake up call,” Q says.

“Perhaps I will,” James says, and Q blushes. They've been flirting on and off forever. No one knows how serious they are.

“Your coffee.”

“Just how I like it,” James says after a sip, but his eyes are set on Q.

“You are determined to make me blush, Bond. I shall not have it,” Q says resolutely.

“Au contraire, mon cher. I am here for the cats.”

He ends up staying for a movie, though, and falls asleep on the sofa. Q is curious to know why Bond has chosen to spend his post-mission high on Q and his cats, but refuses to read anything into it.

* * *

The ring of his phone startles Q into the land of the alert. He fumbles for his phone with one hand and his glasses with the other, somehow managing to accept the call and regain his sight.

“Q.”

“It's Tanner. Sorry to wake you, but we've lost Bond.”

Q hears himself say “He's on my sofa,” and regrets it immediately.

Bill, to his credit, hardly misses a beat. “Could you put him on the line, please?”

“Yup.” James has appeared in the doorway so Q just throws the device at his head and shuts his eyes again.

“Bill.”

“James.” Bill's voice is tired but faintly amused. “Something’s come up, M wants to see you.” There is a pause. James knows it's coming. “We won't mind if the shirt isn't yours. You've earned an ugly cardigan day.”

“Thank you, Tanner.”

“Seriously, should I offer my congratulations?” Bill is laughing now.

“Goodbye, Tanner.”

* * *

“Just because Ada likes me best, you don't have to be catty about it.”

“My god, 007, no,” Q laughs.

“I know I'm purrfect,” James growls and Q swallows hard.

“Awful,” he manages.

“You just don't appreciate - ah!” There is gunfire and Bond swears. “Hit. Request medical aid.”

It must be bad. “James? James, stay with me. R!” He screams and R frantically shrieks into her headset. Eve clings to his shoulder, other hand at her mouth. “ _James!_ ”

“It's okay, Q, calm down,” James says evenly, but his breathing is shaky.

“You can't die.”

“I won't die.”

“I won't let you.”

“I am  _not_ going to die.” James is sounding more desperate. “ _I am not going to die!_ ”

* * *

Ada is allowed into medical to sleep on James’ chest. More correctly, Q carries the cat in and Tanner glares at anyone who looks like they might even be thinking of objecting. Q clings to a worn, calloused hand, and is the first there when he opens his eyes.

“How long-?”

“A day.”

“Hmm.” James lifts a hand to gently stroke Ada.

“We caught the bad guys.”

James smiles. “Well done, Robin, we've saved the day again.”

Q bursts into tears. James tugs his head onto his chest, next to the cat, and lets him cry.

“I nearly lost you, I can't lose you,” Q sobs.

James hums little endearments and presses a soft kiss to the crown of his head. “I'm not dead. I'm not going to die.”

* * *

They come back from dinner, giggling like people far younger and less scarred. Q fumbles his keys at the door, pausing.

“Do you want-?”

“Coffee?” Bond smiles. “I'll have a spoonful of the innuendo, please.”

Q beams.

* * *

Q grabs the phone. “Q.”

“Morning,” Eve says brightly. “007 with you again?”

Q drops the phone onto James’ head. “Ow. Morning, Miss Moneypenny.”

“...that was fast,” Eve says suspiciously. “Are you two-?”

“Yes. What is it?” James grins at Q as Eve squeals.

“Bill! Excellent news! Give me twenty pounds.”

“...this does not sound like good news.” Bill can be distantly heard. “If you can't find 007 we'll put 003 on it.”

“Oh, we will. He's busy.” Eve hangs up and James drops his phone on the table beside his head.

“As the good lady said,” James smiles softly at Q, bathed in morning sunlight and smiling like an angel.

James leans in to press a kiss to his soft lips - and has his head promptly sat on by Ada, mewling for her breakfast.

“She gets it from her previous owner,” James says, muffled by the tail obstructing his mouth.

“Oh, no,” Q grins, despite the hair. “She gets it all from you.”


End file.
